In a Handbasket

What is happening to our society? While some may blame Colonel Sanders (before him, the only thing to eat food out of a bucket was a hog [J.G.]), my vote is currently for Wal-Mart. I don't know whether it's the "always low prices" or the fact that you can buy a car battery, underwear, and blue cheese all in the same place that makes people forget any semblance of courtesy, or the fact that no matter what time of day or night, the place is packed with droves of people. Personally, I believe it is because, even though there are at least 25 registers possible, the brain trust that run that place only open about 5 of them. Even the self-checkout lanes only have 2 of 4 open. Really!? Would it require that much more work from your crack team of employees to let us check ourselves out by opening those two other self-checkouts? I would rather you just get rid of the unused registers because seeing them sitting there, an untapped resource of efficiency, makes me more frustrated than just waithing in your neverending line. It doesn't matter that each line is backed up past the main aisle of the store. It doesn't matter that half of the employees seem to be aimlessly wandering the store looking for something to do (or probably trying to hide from having to do anything). For some reason, customer satisfaction no longer exists when it comes to actually paying for your things and leaving the store. Trust me, if this is some sort of corporate mind game to make me stay in the store longer and buy more things, you've only accomplished the exact opposite. It makes me never want to enter the store again.
Anyway, my most recent encounter with the dregs of society was on Monday. After naptime, I took the boys to pick up a couple of things. Unfortunately, there was some sort of accident between me and the other nearest grocery store, and traffic was backed up and not moving, so I headed to Wally World. I actually got a decent parking place, picked up 5 items in all of 8 minutes, and went to check out. Welcome to 30 minutes you'll never get back. I was paying cash. I got into the 1 of 2 open self-checkout lanes, behind approximately 10 people. Prepared to settle in for the subsequent whining and fidgetyness, I started counting the minutes. But then! What's this? A cashier is opening up in the lane next to me. I, my two children, my five items, and my cash make our way over. Suddenly we are nearly hit by a teeny bopper sorority chick with a cart full of things. Technically, it was a tie, but, being southern, I said, "Oh, may I just go ahead?", fully expecting freedom from this hellhole in a matter of minutes now. She said, "No!" I was dumbfounded. Are you kidding me. What a bitch! Furious and knowing that if I opened my mouth it would surely make it onto the six o'clock news, I went back to my previous lane, luckily, there was a very nice woman who let me back in. I think she was a shocked as I was. How rude!
I regret not saying anything. I had thought that if I bumped into them on the way out, I would say, "This will come back to you." and leave it at that. Luckily, there was no such encounter. I was still fuming and probably couldn't have kept my cool like that. At home that night, B actually gave me what would have been the perfect thing to say. I should have looked her straight in the eye and said, "This will be you someday, two children, the witching hour, a few items in your cart. I hope you bump into someone just as rude and inconsiderate as you are and remember this day." Why didn't I say that!?!? I feel like George Costanza coming up with his "Jerkstore" comeback later in the day. UUGGGHHHH! The only saving grace to the whole thing was that, even with her obnoxious behavior, I still made it out before her.
But wait, there's more. Later that night, at the movies with my peeps, we noticed a man speaking very loudly during the previews. No big deal, we were sure as soon as the movie started he would stop. Only he didn't. Although I'm sure he was constantly talking, I only occasionally noticed it, probably due to all the songs in the movie. Anyway, the last time I noticed it, about three quarters through the movie, it was incessant and loud. We took it for a while, then, bolstered by my reticence at my earlier encounter with rudeness, I finally got up and said something to him. I wasn't rude or loud, I just went up to them and whispered that they were being a little loud. Shortly after I sat down, they got up and left. I didn't feel bad about it or sorry for them. If they had wanted to get together for a chat, they should have gone to a restaurant. I mean really, this was a middle aged couple. Shouldn't they know better?
I think it's time we all stood up to rude and obnoxious behavior. I'm tired of sitting by and letting jacklegs ruin what should be enjoyable times for the rest of us. It's hard to always come up with something to say spur of the moment, but remember, if all else fails, you can always hit them with, "Yeah! Well, the Jerkstore called, and they said they're all out of you!"